all over theplace

there are different things people do to not be lonely. one , i mentioned previously...and that's make an art of their stories. hone them to the perfect hard sell.

sometimes it's internet dating. or a certain kind of bar pickup. or personals. or blind dates. ..

there's nothing wrong with these. people do them all the time and often to great success.

but the whole idea makes me feel uneasy. for me. and that doesn't mean i'm above any of them nor that i haven't done any of them...

but, they make me uneasy. they feel contrived somehow. i am probably wrong to feel this way, that it's not a way i want to start out anything. maybe because the beginning seems to come out of a need rather than a surprise of mutual enjoyment.

i guess part of it is another thing i wrote about once. something about the idea that someone has their scope up and is looking hard at the horizon at everything that passes ..i don't want to accidentally stumble into their view.. i don't want to be a shoe somebody tries on.

but isn't that the way it works? i'm not much of a pragmatist about somethings. hmph.

louis prima ..huzzah!

if i had a briefcase, i'd carry nothing but a mini tape recorder and a newspaper.

my brain is kind of all over the place today.

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