� | click here for flickr! 2005-10-01 ramble. no, really . seriously rambling. today is his work picnic. .. so i may miss most if not all of the bluegrass fest today. (butwon't miss tomorrow) my throat hurts and my body aches. i wish i could stay home. last night i saw serenity. SO GOOD. then i slept like the dead. like a giant sleeping pill came out of the sky and just pressed me down into the bed for 11 hours. i would have said hand, but that sounds scarier. this is what would be perfect, and what i haven't been able to figure out how to do so far: my priorities..or how i'd like them to be: right now i feel like we've been saying yes to most things we get invited to by the two groups....keeping our feeling of community alive. but the community doesn't really require more than a few times a month. closer friends do. and that the things i really want to make life a little more perfect ..and hwat i imagine in my head when i imagine my life the way i want it are those things i've listed. in the past week and a half i seem to have seriously cut back (if not out) my nightly glass of wine. i haven't had a glass of wine since last weekend. my main goal in the past year and a half has been to feel like a more productive functional human being. my self esteem in this regard was taking a beating for awhile there. my social self esteem was grand. the rest? not so hot. last night i dreamed that two friends who don't talk, were friends again. and i dreamed that i was walking through a museum with these balls in my pocket..where if i threw them on the ground they'd cause a big explosion. i wanted to throw them for fun, but then i was in a room of ancient books and i knew that was a sacrilege. i don't want to go anywhere today i'm so very rambling, if you're actually reading this than you mightg just be crazy and would you like to talk about it? i miss vermont. in past relationships, i rarely had many friends. i didn't worry about navigating the whole sea of different relationships. and i just returned to how i always have been in a relationship. insular. homebound.. hello heather things be different now. arr. i like cowboy space movies. i love joss whedon. i shoudl get dressed. i really really don't want to though. i've reread 3 books in the past two weeks, from my childhood. two of them took place in the south and i found myself saying a lot of things like "i plum forgot" and having strong strong cravings for fried chicken and buttermilk biscuits. i'm stopping now. [ previous� �|� � next ]
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