� | click here for flickr! 2004-05-04 my elbow hurts, and change not now. but..like in a yearish? yea. school. me. again and i have to admit. i'm kind of terrified of the idea terrified that i have lost my ability to study (did i ever have it?) , that i won't be able to afford to live, that i'll make a mistake and realize that web work was my calling (it's not), that i won't be as content and happy as i am now. but is that just fear of being challenged? fear of failure? i think i want to become a counselor/therapist. if not that, a teacher. but i think i'm better one on one. i think my best skills lie in that kind of interpersonal relationship. but, what if i suck at it? dude. blow to the ego! ok. not really. but yea. i admit. the idea starts a whole bunch of fluttering. i wonder if htat's why i say "hm. a year and a half". i'm not ready for the change quite yet. but that's not even just attachment to my current life (which i *am* indeed kind of attached to). but quaking oh-my-god-what-am-i-thinking stuff. also, how long will this take me? i don't have long to go before my BA is done, but... anyway. just thinking out loud. i'm always scared by change. and simultaneously invigorated. my elbow hurts. [ previous� �|� � next ]
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