teary eyed

oh there are lots of things that will worry me.

that the things that still have the potential to lump in my throat or wet in my eye, might hurt others.

that my heart is all over the place half the time. pieces of everyone it's held, i guess.

but , like i said. stomping through like grapes.

tired of holding my breath and waiting til i'm a clean slate. clean slates scare me. how much self scrubbing did they have to go through and how much did they have to leave behind.

i don't know why i fear being a burden if i embrace other people's messes. y'know?

but i'm happy and i'm sad and i'm rarely one all at once. although lately , sometimes i am just happy and ain't that a revelation.

i am laden with memories and futures. thank fuckin god.

i like the word laden.

it's kind of proper and silly.

everything is static. nothing is static.

there is static in my head.

there is static in my socks.

i got teary eyed today. and that's ok

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