that is all america

I'm having an accidentally good hair day. By all accounts, my hair should be awful today as I ran out of my favorite product. but no. it's working quite well.

I am sometimes. so awkward. I say the wrong thing, I think the wrong thing, I want the wrong thing, I worry about the wrong things, I make up potential stories that will never happen because we've all become way too smart for that. I have spent years trying to overcome that awkward me that..oh lordy, at 13? was so pronounced. But sometimes, i forget ...and I'm still just so awkward.

when I was 13...everything i felt and wanted was visible, like a movie playing over the skin of my face. every awkward thought and hurt and fear and hope was there for the world to see. and at 13, that's like attracting wolves, really.

Now...i wonder how it would feel to let that all out again. To not worry about staying calm. or being rational. or thinking things through and being aware of 'the truth'

to just ... be awkard for a day.

I think i will dub one day a week "13 year old heather day" and I will just let that girl run rampant over my life. will it do damage or wonders. boy howdy, I just don't know!

I like the image of a movie playing over the skin of my body.

i am a simmering thing of longings. I am a crock pot.

this is very different from a crack pot, please do not get them confused.

oh and also? i love the pet cemetary. I am in love with the dearly departed macaroni heart and sushi and mr. chippy.

oh! and i met mr. philo of eastwest and it was quite lovely.

that is all, america.

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