magic

I guess i'm now writing an entry a week.

last weekend we had our housewarming party with amazingly wonderful pizzas and foccacias (mostly made by my friend dave, who ended up slaving in the kitchen til around midnight. insanity!)
but they were delicious, and it was fun to putter aorund the kitchen with him (and nice to see him so warm and comfortable and happy with jules) for a few hours before people showed up.
there were donuts,our yummy treats, board games, dance dance revolution, meandering conversation and a very nice night.

the next day we did a cursory clean up and went to see Serenity at the parkway (pizza! beer! couches! movies!) for our second viewing. since we'd seen the movie first, then watched all the episodes of firefly we had to see it again.

this week has been a bit icky. i've been hormonal and maudlin and exhausted and grouchy. for no good reason! and feeling stretched thin again. lots of birthdays and parties coming up and it's easy for me to start feeling cornered by the idea of not enough alone time or quiet time.

we've been daydreaming about where we'd like to end up when we're ready to be rural. the short list seems to include: california, oregon, montana and vermont.
california has our friends and family. nothing to scoff at. this is a big deal.
montana and vermont have the most beautiful places we can think of. snow. a *lot* more for our money. seasons. forests and streams and ponds and lakes and oh beauteousness. oregon has a lot of that too and is closer to california.

I know that i would love to bring my child up someplace with seasons. and in the country. and definitely with snow
i remember how magical snow was as a kid. i don't think it would have been as magical if i only saw it on ski trips.. part of its magic was that it *wasn't* novel and new. it was my world . blanketed in white.
i remember being in the back seat of the car on cold winter nights. and the lights of the houses .. country farm houses, beautiful big many roomed houses nestled in white meadows. ... with yellow warm light pouring out the windows (vermonters know that yellow light is magic) .. a crystal white world , silent and soft and endless lit by buttery warmth
and warm mildly humid summers where nothing could rival the green dampness. and the berries and the ferns and the smell and cold but-not-too-cold water breaking over your hot skin in the pond. and oh .. maybe by the time he/she is a teen we'd move back to an urban area. I know that when i was a teen the magic of the country didn't hold as much sway anymore. i needed to be socialized. i craved events and places and shopping and activity. and i always craved to return to being a country girl once i had it, but i still think it was the right place for me to be as a teen. 'town'
i'd always envied kids who lived in town, even when i was little. but i wouldn' thave, at 9... if i'd actually moved to town. i would have realized that my freedom to explore, to run the woods, to bike to the pond, to ride my pony... that my apple tree and rope swing and fresh eggs from our chickens. .. these were the things that made childhood alive and fresh and full of magic.
granted i had a very lively imagination becausei was alone a lot. but that was partly that i was so shy . there were other kids nearby.
so my point. i want to raise my kid(s) in a place that fosters magic. they might not even know that's what they're feeling, but they'll remember it when they grow up.
the crisp fall magic, changing leaves, smoke smells on the air, halloween was more magical too.

maybe i' have it all wrong. maybe wherever you are, childhood is magical. but somehow i'm pretty convinced it's different in small towns and the country.

we found a house in montana on 40 acres. fully self sufficient. hydro/water and solar power. and 3 springs for water. off the grid, yo. so much cheaper than anything we'd ever find here.
now to convince all our friends and family to move there.
not that we're buying it or anything. the timing isn't right .. maybe they won't be able to sell it ofr like 5 years! (yea right)

everyone around us is sick. and i think i've been battling it but doing ok. just a little run down and tired. and we have 3 things to possibly go to tomorrow and something on sunday, but after our morning engagement..damn it.. we're going for a hike together. somewhere outdoors and quiet.

i want to do for a child some of the things my mother did for me. introduce them to scrambling up hills, berry picking, ballet classes (or wahtever), books, ponds, ponies and chickens, the magic of snow lit by window light with snowmen standing guard, icicles that look like crystals or candy dripping from houses, kicking leaves down a dirt road..
hopefully we can make this happen.

oh and my ring will be ready on monday!

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