hawaii is so close i can taste it

i keep getting into these foul moods at work.. i feel deep in the bellyfire.. angry grouchy and i don't want anybody to talk to me or look at me.
i'm not sure what that's all about.
actually i probably do, but i've gotta get over it.
i get into a holding waiting pattern sometimes.. waiting for the next place in life that i want to be. and the waiting and impatience wears me down but i have a lot of time ahead of me doing exactly what i'm doing.
I was sure last night that i'd go home and be just as grouchy, but the second i got to trader joe's and saw monk...i felt better. and we hada goofy night of dinner and video games and hottub (full moon!) and teasing and silliness. my mood was magically gone.
during the sleep hours, i dreamed i was a brainwashed assassin out to kill some guy who lived underground. I was very determined, but some women put this patch on my arm that drugged me and i became very woozy and started crying & saying "i don't really want to kill him. somebody just told me to".
hum...

Hawaii is looming so close.. it's taunting me with its closeness. days upon days of sun and rain and mangos and papayas and passionfruit and waterfalls and kayaking and horseback riding and hiking and volcanos

eaten for dinner:
grilled halibut with a pesto sauce
corn on the cob with cumin butter
steamed broccoli.
glass of chardonnay
(or milk, for monk)

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