sadness

i'm just bone deep sad. and not sleeping very well and having dreams/nightmares about the sadness every night. and i knew i'd' be sad but this is more pervasive and less surface than i expected.
and the not sleeping is making me kindof irritable and impatient on top of the sad
which makes me not have a lot of patience for conversation or meandering or chatter.
and my eyelid was twitching a little this morning.

ah well.
sad.

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