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2004-07-27

plotting

it was good to drink wine and eat cheese with a girlfriend that i don't think i've ever really spent one on one time with

talking til we realized it was past 11

we've been feeling hectic for too long.

on another front: it feels weird to be polite and not free to express irritation or just what i'm thinking with somebody who i was once so familiar with and now am not. there's a touch of 'stranger' feeling and that just makes me sad. but it could all be fabricated in my head too.

and another front: and i was thinking about people i know and their different relationships and good ones and bad ones and i realized. if you say things to your friends about your partner that if your partner heard would totally shock them. something is wrong. i mean, of course we sometimes have confidantes with whom we talk about things that might be bothering us or making us mad and that lets it out and then its gone and it doesn't have to become a big deal in teh relationship

but if you're able to say things about a partner that would totally shock and hurt them if they heard it... something might be wrong.

and that has nothing to do with last night, cuz theyre good ones. nor to do with my relationship

and tonight is italian food family style. big platters of pasta! rarr

i would like, by the end of the next year. to have my own jewelry bench. but i have to relearn how to use it all

i have plans. i'm a plotter. look at me plot.


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