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2004-05-06

napping

i have a lot of little low level issues that i mostly try to ignore. pretend they're not there because if i sit around and worry about them i can work myself into a tizzy over something that isn't even real.

i mean. i love that ex-boy, really. and i actually came out of that whole thing a lot stronger and better than i was before, to be honest. but there are little things that i came out of it with that i also am not so thankful for.

fears and insecurities. conviction that people change their minds. not necessarily insecurity but...a lack of security . there's a difference.

it's so easy for me now. to get worried if somebody seems distant. or irritated. or ..i dunno. it's just easy. suddenly i want to jump back 'ack too much work too much work" and run before somebody else does?

yes i realize this is stupid. and no i dont' give in to it. but it's there.

all that aside. can i go home now? i finished my project. i'm leaving in two days. and i wanna go nap with the monster dog.


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