dreams

i slept a lot last night. it was that deep involved part-of-the-bed sleep. i would wake up and my limbs would be all akimbo and my head at some strange angle and it all felt so good. me and the bed. marriage of perfection.

i had this dream that i decided to move to nyc. it seemed like the right thing to do. it was like back when i just wanted to run from everything that echoed pain i'd felt . (except there was no pain in this dream. no emotional trauma) . but there was still this sense of shedding and taking on new. and so i was looking for apartments in nyc and i was scared. it was so big ,it was so crowded, the neighborhoods so unfamiliar and i felt i was doing the right hting but i was longing longing longing for san francisco. for the familiar. for my support group. for what i knew so well. but . i forged forth

and i found an apartment that was just outside the city and the train took 1/2 hour to get there, and i had a porch on the second floor that had a roof on it and a round glass table for breakfasts and it looked over the back yards of neighbors and they had horses and something in me said "see? this is right". and the woman who owned the place had a room downstairs. our apartments were connected by a door and stairs that were nailed shut. it must have once been a mansion. and a boy lived downstairs and he came up to meet me and we ended up watching tv with our legs tangled on the couch.

and i think the dream is about forging forth and leaving familiars behind. and scary and not scary . maybe other stuff too.

but anyway. it was very very detailed and looong.

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