general disturbances

so i slept most of the day away, followed by dinner and a drink out with The Boy With a King's Name.

TBKN is starting at the culinary academy, where i hope he turns into an atkins chef extraordinaire.

i have no patience for the atkins diet, but he is the best at the low carb high fat chefery... i think he should be a personal chef for those crazy enough to search for kitosis.

i just told somebody i was going to bed. and i am. i'm in bed. i'm naked. i'm under fifty million blankets. the dog is under all of said blankets and underneath my knees. sleeptime is prepared.. but i'm not so sure i can sleep.

matt is convinced i'm not happy. his answer to this, as my best friend, is to offer to take me out for a $40 steak and talk. he's got a nurture complex. this is fine by me. i'm not so sure i'm unhappy. but no, maybe i'm not 'happy'?

but i've said it already. i'm going through some growing pains, and i'm making some good choices and some not so great choices that are time spinners. time sucks or fillers.

nobody is happy all the time. i'm not actively unhappy, i'm just not firmly rooted in contentment right now. that's ok.

it bothers me that i spend a lot of time searching for something. i can feel that a lot of my time is spent with an eye to a horizon . sunflower faces to the sky.

i think i'm afraid of people i respect, because maybe i'm not high on self respect right now. i'm not so happy with where i've been, yuet i'm happy with where i am. i don't know exactly what i mean and maybe that's where the dissatisfaction comes from. a general disturbance that i can't pinpoint yet.

i have been floating along in comfortable shoes ... but i'm not making much progress. that just might be the crux. i don't think comfort is all that i want. yea ok, i'm not talking about shoes. smarty pants.

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