analogies

for awhile there all i dreamed about was kissing.

lately all i dream about. i swear. every night. I am in vermont again. I don't know what it means exactly.

although last night I was also male and a superior surfer who won a surfing contest with a broken surfboard held together with chewed gum. so who knows.

But something seems to think I should be in vermont for at least a visit. I wish i could.

I have lots of wants. and I want what I want, but I think i'm tired of pursuing. I'm not fatalistic. I just think...happen naturally for awhile, wants.

I usually have all kinds of entries in my mind while i am laying in the dark ...and i often think "I should get up and write this out' and then..i decide i'm cozy and warm and i fall asleep..believing I'll remember in the morning. but i never do.

I do remember that last night I had an analogy in my half asleep mind. an analogy of capturing fireflies and how i don't want any more jars. and I'd rather watch a firefly. and then i realized that no firefly will stick around though. they're flying things. and then i realized that my analogy was getting funnier and funnier the more time i spent on it and so i was picturing giant fireflies and sexual activities and then i decided maybe i should change my minds subject ..

but there was a gist in there.

I feel like i've done a lot of capturing in my life.

I don't want that role.

I just want natural ...

I need to stay away from analogies.

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