blow jobs

last night i had a food baby

tonight i have a blood baby. my womb is cradling and expelling my potential.

it aches. and it of course feeds any sadness i've beenfeeling.

and i always over do things. i wish i knew how to hold back. i really do.

and i have lots of wantiness. I feel stilted...it's the damn dreams.

I went to dinner with one of my best friends tonight. we talked about my habit of dating 'safe'. I told him I feel a little ready to actually take a chance sometime in the future. To get involved in something where i might actually feel potential. someday. eventually. soon? hey, i'm just playing with the idea. anyway

He said "you're ready for a blow job relationship"

i said "did you just say i'm ready for a *blow job* relationship?!?!"

He said "that i did"

i stared blankly and with open mouth for a minute or two

then i started laughing hysterically

because...see, i have two kinds of relationships. and I am pretty open about my ways of being in relationships (due to trust, attraction, investment and comfort issues), so he knew that.

he was right. that's exactly what i was saying i was ready for.

blow jobs comin up

HAHAHAHA

ok, we're so so wrong and perverted. but i love that boy.

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