dreams and womb battling

sometimes i feel my scowls etched on bone.

i am constantly amazed by people's views on atheism.

i am one. and a common response is that that means not sp iritual. or without purpose. or without hope. or without moral code or ethical code.

for me to take that kind of absolute stance. one of atheism. don't people realize that that is as much a faith/belief system as religion is?

i recognize this. for me to say "i do not believe there is a supreme being of any kind" takes only faith. it's not like i have proof. i just have a bone deep belief.

and then. on codes and hope.

like i even need to get into that.

as though , if i believe this is it, i could ever believe i have the right to take it away from myself or anyone else. like i don't recognize the terrifying awesomeness and disgustingness that is life.

gross. and beautiful.

that's what we are. yea, ok. that's as sappy as i'm going to be for you, so don't expect it again.

at least not on the whole shebang of "being" and life n shit. so there.

yesterday i was bowed under the weight of womb battles. like a crash bam boom going on in there. all i wanted was a bottle of red wine and a hot water bottle.

instead , i ate a baked potato and watched a kung fu period piece about wolves.

last night i dreamed i was going to moldova. i wasn't sure what one should wear in moldova. but i do know that cross currents bring bad spirits and one should never have two windows open at the same time.

let's pretend there's a moral.

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