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2002-11-08

alone.

i used to hate being alone.

with a neurotic fearful passion.

i was happiest, even when withdrawn into myself ...reading or watching a movie..when there was somebody else around.

but something new has cropped up in the past 3 years. as i grew firmer. (and more rigid).

i find that after a few days. i feel stretched. irritable. infringed. squashed. and like i'm in a dark room with a bright bright light shining right in my eyes

now. i need some time in the darkness. alone. or i become reactive sensitive to other peoples light. shying away.

it doesn't mean i don't like people or care about who i'm with.

some flowers only blossom during certain conditions, i guess.

if i could be any plant though, i'd be a venus flytrap and i'd eat you up.

i have a venus flytrap in my kitchen. it eats all the little buggies.


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