smokey the bear

so, it's been a really weird few months. combustible.

i haven't even felt like spitting wires. i havent even felt exposed or raw.

because i've been retreating , in some way. .. in horror...fear...maybe even disgust...at the chaos.

so i did what i had to do and cleaned my room spotless and made plans to have junk hauled away.

and i'll clean the insides if i can't clean the outside.

and a coworker/friend jumped from the golden gate bridge last weekend. and we werent all that close. i liked lworking with him. he almost moved in and became a roommate a few months ago and that feels weird.

and i wonder, did he want to stop part way down?

and i wonder what his letters said.

and it's just so. sad.

screw vagueness.

and i spent saturday outside on an ampitheater lawn watching the bridge benefit concert. which was mostly fabulous. tenacious D and ryan adams, being the best for me.

and sunday i cleaned myself into a grouchy irritable reactive frenzy.

and one of my closest friends lit an apartment on fire.

and im tellingyou.

life is combustible almost always, but lately brush fires are everywhere.

smokey the bear, get your shit together.

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