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2002-10-10

voice & naked

my throat hurts . i keep coughing and not feeling exactly phlegmy but feeling that there is something in the way of my air.

there's a strange feeling at work today. it's silent. it feels like an office feels when it's 6am but everyone is there due to some deadline. half asleep and quiet. or the way it feels on a winter day when it's cold and dark outside and everyone inside is hibernating a little, even as they plod forward.

last night i spread salt all over my body. put cucumbers on my eyelids and a cold washcloth over my face. and lay in the hot steam for as long as i could take it. the salt melted and was absorbed by my skin.

my skin is never softer as when i leave kabuki

i left the steam and dunked in the cold bath. walked to the large hot bath and sat in a corner with a book.

and all bodies begin to blur. beautiful, slender, chubby, tattooed, clear of markings....when you have a room full of naked women lost in their own thoughts.

and i just tried to talk to a client and i found out, 2 hours into my day. that i can't speak. my voice is gone.


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