child terror.

i used to be in charge of a montessori afternoon daycare.

a bunch of 3 - 6 year olds.

we'd paint dead fish and make fish prints.

we did sidewalk chalk art.

we made beaded necklaces and macaroni art.

we watched movies on rainy days and the youngest boy, makoto, who spoke no english, would fall asleep in my lap.

i'd rub backs to help the sandman at naptime.

i loved children.

but secretly? they terrified me.

the bright little capsules of potential scared the daylights out of me. because, they were in my hands. and that kind of responsibility froze me right in my tracks.

so i hugged a lot, got mad a little bit, rubbed backs and made art.

and buried my terror deep down.

i still have that terror, i think.

[ previous� �|� � next ]

�

�