� | click here for flickr! 2002-05-01 some explanation. and yet knowing i'm lying about something to someone. i don't lie well. and it leaves me feeling small. and maybe we shouldn't be too self aware. maybe we *should* put a positive spin on our own faults so we find it easier to live with ourselves. i don't know. i know i do it except during this time of the month, when all that gloss strips away and it's much starker. everything is feeling light right now and i think i want some weight. even though the lightness is something i've purposefully cultivated. and there's been a manic edge to my not wanting to be alone in my house. i need to face the school loans, the dog, the cleaning, the bills, the functioning. head on. i'm tumbling. on low. spin cycle over. [ previous� �|� � next ]
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