patience.

errands run. music in headphones. almost incapable of not being bitchy to co workers. i shouldn't be allowed to work on these days.

for one year. i hated being inside my skin. would stare at myself in the mirror, hating this part and that part. wanting to slice of layers of me and shove them under the carpet.

for another year, i became resigned to the things that are me. and then i started dancing. samba. or just going out .

and i became movement. and i became skin. and i became sound and allure and fluid and aware of every bit of me again. and i liked my skin and i liked my insides and i liked how they all worked together.

and then i started kissing. starting with the cowboy back in december and moving on.

and i became finger tips. i became tongue and teeth. i became nerve endings and skin surface. i became crotch and breast. i became skittering breath and squeak. i became earlobes and bottom lip. and shoulder. and dissolved and solid and wet and warm and ....

body.

the outside and the inside . re-married. fusing back together . no longer a mirror. no longer a mass of emotions with no surface. i became body.

and these were the things that caused me to stop staring inward . and doing exactly what i'm doing this week.

the little bits of me slowly came back together. in this last year.

and it's just solidifying .

patience, little girl.

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