endings

sunburned cheeks. sunburned tattoo.

bruises peppering my body.

warm languid.

the first game of paintball i didn't shoot a single pellet. and i got shot in the head within 30 seconds.

second game, i bum rushed the other team and got shot about 5 times. i wanted to fall to my knees like willem dafoe in Platoon and let myself be peppered with bullets.

but i got better at the belly crawling (barely) and covering team mates as they ran for new cover. and i somehow managed to emptyall my bullets each time i went out. I was a crazy mad woman going BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM.

i think i may be nearing an ending point with this. it's truly served its purpose and now it just feels a little too superfluous and i usually find myself feeling ..dissatisfied.

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