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2002-02-12

not so cute

yea so. okay.

last night: i ate a lot of sushi.

last night: i drank the margaritas

last night: i sang the karaoke. ANYWAY YOU WANT IT THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT . and Tiny Dancer (a la Almost Famous) .

please note: i can not sing. no. i am not being humble. or modest. i really really can not sing. do you hear me? i can NOT SING. yea. but i can ham it up with the best of them. and turn red. and laugh uncontrollably, which i'm sure is only exciting for me and not at all for the audience. and what's up with all the professional--stylin singers who go to karaoke nights? karaoke should be for people like me. people who CAN NOT SING.

last night: i got home at some god awful hour.

today: i am tired.

today: i am greasy

today: i did not wash my hair and the combined product and grease has it standing completely on end and i look like a victim of electric socket syndrome.

today: the downstairs coffee shop does not have cinnamon buns and i'm mad.

today: i am thinking about how excessive i'm being and beginning to wonder if there's an edge of manic to it. if maybe i'm trying to not be with myself. if i'm avoiding me.

today: i am thinking about the lies i tell . to myself and others. and how i try not to but sometimes i catch myself fabricating truth. even here. i lie here sometimes, for others. not me. gloss things over. this i find silly.

today: i'm thinking about taking up jogging. which is a little weird since i hate jogging.

today: it is beautiful out

today: somebody asked if i wanted to get my drink on again, and i had to say no.

today: i am frustrated with myself.

today: i'm stopping this list.

p.s. not so cute today.


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