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2002-02-04

not a joke

>so i'm just going to sit right here tonight.

i'm going to sit here and i'm going to stop with the striving and the optimism and the hoping.

i'm going to just sit here today and let myself feel what i lost. i'm gonna cry. and feel like an idiot. and allow self-doubt. and self loathing. and a little bit of hopelessness. because i want to tonight. i am good. i am good at climbing out and eating and laughing and loving.

but tonight, i just wanna fuckin sit here and be a lump o FRIED POO.

fried poo?

uh. i think i meant a lump o melancholy.

melancholy POOP.

(really, i am crying on the inside)

(really. i'm very sad)

(well, not really really sad. but you know...i'm in touch with my feelings)

(i'm hungry)

(this entry actually did *not* start as a joke)


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