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2002-01-16

looking the other direction

recently added to boogie:

an update in the midst of a flurry.

still writing elsewhere.

i spent so long with my teeth firmly clenched around my not letting go.

tearing and shaking the life out of it all.

i was so intent on figuring out how to relax my jaw and back away that i just bit down harder.

and suddenly, when i looked the other direction, it slipped out of my mouth with an "O" of surprise.

and now, when i look back, i can't see the exact moment it happened.

i just know that i'm different and have been for awhile.

and that all the worst parts of me that rose to the surface like flotsamjetsam and dead bodies, have been absorbed and turned into something better.

but i find myself wishing i could lock on to an exact moment.

to be aware of process.

i'm chewing the fat of the past.

i'm digesting the saccharine of the future.

gimme a kiss, buster brown.

xoxo

heather


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