hunger

i spent the morning scrubbing and mopping and talking with my roommate as we puttered things clean. he's burning a cedar scented thing in his room and it is filling the house with the smell of trees and freshness. He's roasting peanuts in his rotisserie and the house is filled with trees and peanuts and warmth.

i love christmas. not just because of giving and getting presents. (which i love, on both ends. i'm an excellent gift buyer. I like themes and strange and unique gifts that nobody would think to get for themselves but realize upon opening that this is something they've always wanted or needed without even knowing it. also? i am very good at getting presents!)

christmas at my house as a child involved trudging in snow shoes into the forest behind our house, pulling the toboggan. and then riding the xmas tree on the toboggan back to the house. stringing popcorn and paper chains and cranberries and placing the ugly pink angel on top. baking bread filling the house with smells. sugar cookies in the shape of bells and reindeer and santas. eating the little silver balls before i ever get them onto the cookies.

Dylan Thomas' Christmas in Wales on record playing softly in the background, or a reading of Truman Capotes A Christmas Memory, each family member taking a different part.

eating feast-like with pachelbels canon playing in the background.

me running into my mothers room "llook what i got in my stocking!@!@" and she pretending she has no idea. i'm afraid that took me longer to outgrow than one would imagine.

i love this holiday.

i love holiday traditions and the little remnants of magic that imbue it.

but right now? i'm hungry.

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