truths

and last night across the table. red wine galore. huge bill. tipsy. imbibing. flushed cheeks. discussing the way we usually do.

advising.

observing each other.

and he was harsh.

and told me i am ruining my life. that i'm the one doing it. over a loser.

and he was so frustrated.

and he said things about 'him' and 'me' and 'the thing that was me and him' that made me cry and made me angry and made me hurt. and he was brutal.

and when he called the next day he asked if i was mad

and i said 'of course not'

because i wasn't.

truth only makes me angry while i'm trying not to face it.

and then i have to absorb it.

and i told him i *want* that epiphanic moment, but it just isnt' happening that way.

sometimes we are harsh with each other, but i think we'd both agree it's one of the best things about us, and why we're trying so hard not to lose this friendship.

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