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2001-08-29

birthdays

shiny pates all around me. san francisco is a town of bald men! when did this become apparent to me.

tentative emails to him. from him. merely mentioning musicians we will both like. no mention of our lives. no mention of our past life. no mention of the moved diary. just... 'check this out. check that out. you're the only one i know who will appreciate the way i appreciate.'

probably so untrue, too.

starting things. fits of coughing. the train gets stopped halfway up the hill sometimes. where are my toy clowns telling me i know you can i know you can.

sleepiness is settled into my shoulderblades today.

planning for my birthday. a week from friday. 31. dinner and music and dancing surrounded by friends. followed the next day with bread and cheese and walking on mount tam, on top of the world looking down on the most spectacular city and bay and vista in the world.

my mother wrote about vermont and my grandmothers surgery and the humid beauty of that state. of making brownies for grandpas masons meeting. of ice cream stands and neighbors bringing jellos and dinners. of small town life that i barely remember.

it's nice to have the memory of vermont that is crystal-hard like the mind of an 11 year old. i never had to chop wood or scrape a windshield. the winters are magic-white and the summers humid-cozy.

i sometimes want to recapture that as an adult. is it possible?

boogie gave my roommate a knock down honest to god SHINER. a rainbow of pain on this mans eye. it was impressive. i felt awful, but...damn. i'd never seen a shiner like this one! and such beautiful colors. isn't that funny. pain can be attended by such beauty sometimes.

luckily he has a sense of humor and laughed about it.

september is a month of birthdays.

happy birthday fall-babies.

xo


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