brain/body/choices

i was rereading some of these caterwaul entries. and found it strange that i know that he doesn't read, but ignore it at the same time. one entry is only two lines and is ...written as though i think he'll see it.

am i maybe hoping he'll still find me? that he'll want to find me so he'll seek? becuase if he tried, i'm sure he could. but.. i know he won't. he respects this decision.

it's both annoying and amusing to see ones own stupid weaknesses.

next entry will be about how i realized my body rules my choices , not always my mind.

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