tethered

It's muggy out. balmy. warm and moist. (moist has such a dirty ring to it)

there is a man here working on some shelves who's face looks like a skull with skin.

now. when you think about it. we're all skulls with skin. but somehow our cartiledge and melanin or lackthereof and discolorations and hair. make us look like we're more than. ugly, pretty, striking, unique. whatever.

but this man .looks like a skull. with skin on top.

it's unnerving.

did i tell you i slept for 17 hours yesterday? i did.

im very capable, when either depressed or sick. of just....going to sleep.

this works in my favor most of the time. but occasionally it hits at all the wrong moments. like mid fight. stressed out, i'll suddenly shut down and zonk. i'm asleep.

i'm not a big fan of cliques or rings or things that facilitate 'togetherness' or bonding or group anything.

sometimes i feel like it's some insiduous thing. reminding me of milan kundera when he talks about the new political structure in prague after the russians came. likening it to the circle dancers in a matisse painting. holding hands and rising into the air. joyful. but exclusionary...while all encompassing.

buy the party line.

but at the same time. i hate theconcept of 'joining a group'....but it's hard for people who don't to meet theother people who don't, without becoming a group all their own.

i'm just babbling things as i think them. this isn't very cohesive.

HAHA. as if anything i usually think is!

i'm all roughformed thought and very little panache or finesse.

i should return to dancing. girls are going salsa dancing tomorrow, but when i walk 2 blocks i feel the exertion like 5 miles. these lungs of mine.

i can't breathe right yet.

i should just continue as i have been.

tethered. and straining.

that's me.

[ previous� �|� � next ]

�

�